The Beauty of NO

Shay Thomas
Apr 9, 2018
2 min read

Learning to say no

When people constantly ask for something and are very persistent, I shut down. That's the real reason for the missed calls and no replies to text messages. In my mind, I don't want the people I care about to be mad at me, so I say yes when I want to say no. I have to learn to separate refusal from rejection, but it's so difficult when the person asking is not okay with me saying no. The last time I told someone no, they didn't speak to me for months lol. I don't know why the hardest thing for me to do is simply utter the word "NO". I make up an awesome excuse of how I can't because of this or that when ultimately I don't feel like it, it's not apart of my plans for the day, I cannot accommodate that request, or I don't have the authority. I'm going to communicate better and say a firm and direct no when I want, and I even turned on my read receipts on my iMessage lol. Some situations are worth a compromise of course, but I can't let the fear of being criticized or disliked by the person be the reason I'm stressed out and exhausted. We all should be able to make a decision free of emotional consequences and without feeling like we're being negative or rude. I hate the feeling of letting someone down, but saying no to your request doesn't change my love for you. In the past I felt saying no would make people not like me, but I have learned if they only like me because I say yes, then they’re not worth it anyway.